should i be limited by my worst days?
Having chronic illnesses and recurring cycle issues made me wonder about whether I should limit myself in my endeavors and career goals based on my worst days. Acknowledging these as constant limits would mean a bad flareup or phase would not impact what I do as much because they were already factored in.
I see this fulfilled in the job I currently have - I have home office days, I have unlimited sick days, and it’s a sedentary office job. When I feel really bad, I can just work from home or call in sick without guilt or fuss. It’s also a work that, especially by now after years of repetition, is one that is easy for me and can be done on autopilot. That helps when there’s low energy, a lack of focus and brainfog, so I can do the work anyway. My work isn’t knowledge work and I am not solving problems directly 99% of the time; it’s communication, data entry, document management, keeping deadlines for reports and doing user account management and tech support for our data base. It’s all doable while feeling bad.
And because it works for my worst moments, it’s also too underwhelming for the rest of the time. I am a little bored, working through stuff quickly, and waiting the rest of the work day. It doesn’t feel right to be underutilizing myself just for the chance of a flareup in the future or just because of a week or two here and there where my cycle makes me sick and low on energy.
Pre-treatment, I was exhausted and in pain anyway all the time so I was willing to settle for this type of work, but now that I feel healthy for weeks at a time, this has been on my mind more. Of course I have to factor my conditions in somewhat - I’m perfectly fine not having a job that requires me to be on my feet all day or make appointments with customers for inspections multiple times a week, for example. I would have to cancel that on short notice too many times and it’s not a good fit.
But there’s obviously work that’s in-between. Work days would definitely be more fun, energizing and motivational for me if I was invested in the work and had to actually work on problems a bit more actively and research (in my desired job, data protection law compliance etc. with our data protection officer).
End of last month though, I was a wreck because of the luteal phase of my cycle and I took 3x longer for everything in my data protection II exam than I would have otherwise and the brain fog was terrible. Then I sat in bed with my work laptop and wondered if I would feel more motivated right now if I was a data protection officer and doing the work I love instead, and well, the answer was no. Sometimes it’s not the work, just what body I have to work with.
The important thing is to do it anyway, which I do. I prioritize what’s most important and agreeable with my mental state and tackle that, knowing there’s a new day tomorrow for the less important stuff that’d be harder to do. I can do hard stuff too, even if it’s slower. If I’d have my dream job, on days like these (as brain-numbing and annoying it might be in such a state) I’d probably get the record of processing activities up-to-date if anything had piled up. Easy but very important and critical work.
Overall, I’m just coming to the conclusion that it’s not worth depriving my healthy self of amazing work and opportunities just for the sick self. No one accepts a job counting in being sick with the flu 1-2 times a year either. Why should I sit around for weeks bored for the few days I struggle, or for a new flare that may never come?
I’m also done with not acknowledging cycle-based productivity levels. So many expectations in university and workspaces and even productivity content online works to promote linear productivity and output modeled by cis men, but for many with a hormonal cycle, that’s just not naturally possible. The reason we don’t see more actual acknowledgment of this is because it’s shameful and embarrassing to talk about cycles and it’s deemed private and too intimate.
No one wants to give it as a reason for underperformance because you don’t wanna give ammo to sexist remarks like “Oh someone’s on their period!” or possibly give rise to stupid arguments about not hiring women. This means when your coworker makes more mistakes that week, couldn’t keep a deadline or snaps at you, they’re not gonna tell you their cycle phase and how it affects their work, when it actually does. When they call in sick they’re probably not telling you it’s their period (I do though! lol).
When young cis women who are productivity influencers regularly upload videos like “how to get out of a slump” “monthly reset” etc., what do you think they’re resetting from and what the slump was? They were in bed with a hot bottle and couldn’t go to the gym and the dishes piled up. They always upload that right after the period when the follicular phase begins and the estrogen rise gives you an energy boost and you feel normal again instead of depressed and are motivated to tackle stuff.
I’m not buying into this linear productivity stuff anymore and I’m tired of me and others with a cycle feeling the need to conform to that and pretend we are perfectly adhering by omitting the true reason behind stuff by shame or ignorance. Once you know though, you see the pattern. It’s not realistic for me to compare luteal phase me to follicular phase and ovulation phase me, so I won’t anymore.
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Published 11 Jun, 2025