why & how i blog

I’ve been online writing blogs since 2010 :)

I do it because it helps me relax and put my thoughts and feelings into words, processing everything. I like analyzing things and trying to connect the dots. Writing is forcing me to reconsider, find good arguments or see things from a different perspective. Sometimes it makes me change my mind. Some posts also challenge me on purpose, like if I can find sources for all my claims or not.

It’s fun for me, and I think it’s funny I blog. I do it non-seriously, neither for attention or money. I usually write the posts in my notes app on my phone and then just copy them over into the editor in the browser.

I prefer to write in English, not German; always have. I was just very online early on, where most of the internet was exclusively English. I spoke in English in voice chats, too. I learned to express myself in it much better than in German, and I often miss words and ways to express something in German that I would have in English. The only exception is law - I try to challenge myself on here to write about that in English too, but I learn law in German at my university, so some of it might sound much clunkier than usual.

I mostly write in the bathtub or in bed before I fall asleep. My fiancée is used to me trying to fall asleep, eyes closed, and then going “Wait, can you give me my phone again, I need to write something down.” ¹ I don’t really pick topics to write about or care for blog prompts, the passion about something just comes to me randomly. I feel very strongly about something and get the urge to write.

When I have an idea what to write about, I get a bit obsessive. I have to get it out now. I can’t do anything else until it’s done because I can’t focus until it’s written down in my notes. It’s the same with other things - if I suddenly get the idea to code something, it’s becoming the most important thing and I will stay up until 4am and forget to eat. That’s why I never sit in front of a blinking cursor in an empty text editor wondering what to say.

What I write pops into my head just as I type; the sentences are fully formed and cohesive, and I struggle to type as fast as it’s all running down in my head. I only read over it once or twice for typos, adding paragraphs, fixing bad grammar, or adding Markdown. That means most of my posts are done within 20-40 minutes. Big posts like my tech utopia post are split in two days - one to write the text and footnotes for an hour or so and one to add the sources in. Occasionally I combine multiple different notes in my phone into one post because they’re accidentally relating or adding on to each other.

After they’re done, I often wait 1-2 days to let them simmer in the notes before actually posting them.

If you post something I find interesting or that inspires me, I will link to you in my post about it. If you post something publicly, I think I’m free to reply to it, even if you might not like the reply and we disagree. I usually try to focus on critiquing the idea, not the person, so if you take it personally, I am sorry - but that is your problem. I will never try to humiliate or insult you. Please don’t expect me to be softer, more forgiving, more shy or more sugarcoating because I am a woman, rather feminine, and this website is pink. Also I would prefer if you didn’t delete your post in response to my response, no matter what. It has happened enough now that I will always make an archive.is link of the other person’s post before I publish mine so there’s a copy. I think we can all be adults, stand by our words and make mistakes in public.

I personally don’t give a damn about upvotes on this platform or being on Bearblog Trending. There was a brief time where I hid more of my posts and posted less to show up there less, out of guilt and shame because other people care very much about upvotes and Trending and who shows up there and I was worried about annoying people or hogging the page with too many of my posts. I stopped doing that because I realized that just because they care, doesn’t mean I have to, and it’s not something I should alter my behavior for.

I don’t know what else to add or could be interesting - if you want to know more, message me and I might add it here.

(From a year ago; currently working on regrowing all that)