i miss sharing selfies
I sometimes think about how fun posting selfies used to be for me. I had my own computer at 12 and was trying to be emo, so I was pretty soon dressing up and putting makeup on to get cool mirror selfies with a cheap digicam just like the popular emos and scene queens. Later I got into photography as a hobby and had a DSLR and tripod, sometimes used for taking pictures of myself as well.
Until two years ago or so, I took selfies to show off a particularly good makeup or hair day, or a good outfit, a special look.. I enjoyed more experimental looks. Wearing a dried ivy crown with dried roses I made, elvish-looking makeup, wearing crystal crowns, stuff like that.
It was fun to play around with angles, expressions, items, backgrounds. And it was obviously fun to share your looks when you know you’re perceived as beautiful.
Nowadays, I don’t like to take any or don’t share them publicly. It just doesn’t seem worth it. I ask myself, who am I trying to impress, who am I trying to portray? Am I trying to show how I look or am I trying to advertise something about me or what I own? I don’t know, something about it feels icky now. I am over the unwanted attention it can generate to share too much about what you look like, and it almost being somewhat of a status thing.
And while the risk of (usually bad and obvious) photoshopping always existed, it’s too easy and quick for literally anyone nowadays to share very real looking nudify/undress AI images of you. No skill or access to specific software needed. That makes me uncomfortable. I only feel comfortable sharing images now that either have a distorted/pixelated version of my face, or don’t include it at all. Or me wearing a mask.
I also just don’t like the general culture around it. All the facetuning seen on online platforms made a specific kind of face the standard, and it seems like natural faces immediately get seen as lacking or ugly. Groups of people speculate what surgery you had or what you should get - altering your selfie to “fix” you (gross). Lots of bodyshaming, accusing people of promoting this or that. And this pressure to always look your best in a selfie, which usually at this point involves lowkey thirst trapping. I don’t feel comfortable pasting my face into this.
But I do miss sharing when I think I am beautiful. I will still share outfit stuff, but sadly at least for me, taking face selfies regularly for the internet to see is dead. I don’t think it will ever return to a culture where it will be safe and comfortable to do that.
Published 06 Oct, 2024, edited 7Â months, 2Â weeks ago