people i love/hate to hang with
People I love to hang with
People who…
- have a good level of media literacy
- love to research, look at sources, try to confirm info
- hold their relatives, neighbors and friends accountable and don’t excuse their behaviors; acknowledge that even loved ones can perpetuate cruelty even with good intentions
- aren’t concerned about who works how much and just try to do their best without commenting on who should work harder
- are careful with therapy-speak and use it sparingly
- are compassionate and forgiving about varying levels of energy, effort, ability etc.
- announce their lateness and give an estimate
- have a very genuine and non-performative way to engage with social or political topics that don’t feel negatively virtue-signalling
- ask for help
- understand the difference between equality and equity and aren’t jealous of accommodations
- can take what they dish out
- either take the advice, only ask for an open ear, or stop bringing it up if they’re not going to implement the advice anyway
- learn from their mistakes and admit when they are wrong
- have no socials and have a very offline feel
- know their actions mean more than their words and see the impact they have in supporting something bigger
- are organized, tidy, remember their responsibilities and plans they agreed to, respect your time
- have interesting hobbies and opinions, are focused, driven, educated
- mostly have very detailed and thoughtful reasons why they don’t like something - you can tell they don’t just copy that mindset and run with it
- are confident in their body and looks
- are happy about being single or unmarried or asexual or aromantic or polyamorous
- practice gratitude, take care of their body and health
- give back via kind words, acts of servitude, gifts, donations, activism, mutual aid
- are generous with money even if they don’t have a lot; do a loose you pay i pay rotation that doesn’t have to be exact
- don’t discuss food choices with me
People I don’t wanna hang with
People who…
- are hell bent on talking about how xyz group of people “will never understand”; obsessed with othering themselves, obsessed with framing experiences as entirely unique to build self worth
- are overly self-deprecating
- obsess about celebrities and engage in stan culture
- center men in everything and every time we talk it’s about some guy and their hurt feelings about him and they cannot stop defending that clown
- always show up in a bad mood, take every joke dead seriously not because of not understanding but to be an ass or feel more serious, rational, masc because fun is for losers apparently
- pretend that a simple choice with no dire consequences is the reason their life is ruined; their small problems are the worst while they cannot extend any empathy for real emergencies
- will start an argument about veganism at the dinner table out of nowhere, pretend i started it when I say something they can’t refute
- want to have illnesses (especially mental illnesses) so badly despite not fitting the criteria and multiple people saying it’s not that; shop around for the dream diagnosis; will lie to get one they wanted even if it is not true
- truly think the bigots in their life are poor smol beans who didn’t mean it and are just too stupid, surely it’s all the other bigots of other families that are evil and not theirs. Everyone else with that view is a monster but not their uncle who is a nice dude obviously
- are minorities and think they have to help platform bigotry to “see both sides” and “listen to them” in hopes to get spared and be declared one of the good ones
- cannot acknowledge their wealth and privileged background or become extremely annoying and puritan about political issues to make up for it; champagne socialists
- are landlords
- are Harry Potter fans
- are extreme copycats, compete with you, want to be you so badly
- refuse to use the calendar, reminders, alarms on their phone when they know they need it because of forgetfulness and disorganization; will rather make that your problem when they always forget they agreed to show up somewhere and didn’t
- are proud of being anti-intellectual and uneducated, of not reading books, of not knowing how to spell or where to set commas
- agree to any and all plans and wanna participate in everything, then can never make it, but insist it should be rescheduled because of them, therefore making none of it happen ever and tanking the whole thing for everyone
- say yes to all invitations even if they overlap and then decide last minute what to go to, disrespecting your time and plans
- complain about how something is too hard and not fun and that it should be changed, but the reason it is so is because of their own arbitrary, self-imposed rules no one asks them to have
- are obsessed with declaring how life is harsh and unforgiving and anything positive in it is “misleading” or “creating a false sense of security”
- are extremely sensitive and overly hostile about spoilers, like considering what the Steam page shows on the right as a spoiler or will whine about spoilers of 20 year old media they didn’t plan to watch anyway
- pretend that they’ve always had this opinion/knew all along and it was obvious when something happens or info comes out, when they actually thought differently before that
- don’t read the whole email chain, don’t read the other responses in a thread or post and therefore don’t realize their question was already answered or they’re the 5th person to say the same thing
- just repeat what the other person before them has said in a meeting, a lecture, class etc. wasting everyone’s time and trying to take credit for someone else’s thoughts
- won’t stop doing objectively bad things unless a state prohibits it
- are deep into learned helplessness
- hate being warned about bad choices and tell you you’re wrong, and when the consequences happen, flip and get offended why “no one warned/stopped them”
- are very strict on money, obsess about how to split at the restaurant table, into having excel sheets of who paid what, immediately take out the calculator and the paypal/venmo/cashapp
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