ava's blog

an old version of me

Today I am reminiscing of how I was around 2019-2020. I got a song stuck in my head that I listened heavily to in that time, I guess that triggered it. It’s amazing how music can do that; just throwing you back like that, and it almost feels like the air around you tastes differently for the brief time you feel like your old self. I get look through the eyes of someone familiar that is not the current me.

I don’t think I’m bad now. In many ways, I have improved. But I look back on aspects of myself and how I felt in that time fondly. It’s very easy to either cringe at past selves or romanticize them as “when things were still good”. But I am in the middle ground, thinking both are kinda neat.

In celebration of my past self, I should listen to a playlist I created back then and that has many songs from that time. There are some things from those years I should make time for again. I think I strayed a bit from a mindset and some habits that made me feel calm, stable and empathetic, and it’s time to rediscover that.

Published 25 Sep, 2024, edited 7 months, 2 weeks ago

#2024 #misc