This is intended as a kind of snapshot in time of who I was, what I did and what I looked forward to. Yes, the rest of the blog posts fulfill that somewhat as well, but I’ll often change any “about” sections, /now page and all that to reflect who I am at the moment and old versions will be lost. It’s also simply not as straightforward or detailed. So why not take time to summarize? This one was written retrospectively, but future ones will be written during that year.
In 2023, I was still very much consumed by tech, but in a positive way, I'd say. Since 2021, I was experimenting with making websites, first on Neocities, then later on Nekoweb. I was learning CSS and HTML and some JS, I made projects like my dice roller (on my website) and more. I wanted to make Custom CSS Themes for the Steam Deck, wanted to learn Rust, wanted to do LFS and The Odin Project and more. I switched to Linux, first partly in a dualboot, then completely. I didn't want to go to a Bootcamp or enroll in another degree, I wanted to be selftaught. At work, I tried to convince my employer to pay for Oracle classes, but the financial situation didn't allow for it. I tried to get more experience at work with Oracle APEX databases, since I do user support for one I work with myself.
I was very engrossed in hacker websites, forums, and coding YouTube channels. I was sucking up everything like a sponge, making notes of what I wanted to learn, who I could contact, what local companies interested me. As AI suddenly emerged, I initially used it a lot to code before I got good enough to see that asking the AI to help introduced too many mistakes and took more time than actually writing it myself (at least back then, that's how it was; I am writing this retrospectively in 2025, and with Copilot and all, I guess it got better, but I still don't use it anymore for coding). The quality of the models and updates was so volatile, I couldn't rely on it anymore, but I think this helped me.
With a fulltime job and parttime degree and a sick, old dog and a relationship, I barely had time though. I tried to dedicate as much time as I could to things, but the time flew by. At the end of September, my beloved dog Filou had to be put down. At the same time, my girlfriend had to hand in her master's thesis 450km away, and I was alone. I think I am still traumatized of that time, being home alone where my dog just had died in his bed, waiting for the cremation service to come pick him up, and then carrying his stiff body downstairs into the cremation service's car. Everything smelled of urine as he had peed himself.
Afterwards, I was just grieving, taking time, existing, surviving. With the world moving as it did in that time and my personal preferences, I realized I didn't want to work in tech. At all. I want coding and similar things to remain a hobby. Cyber-anything went from a nice aesthetic and refuge to something cursed, inaccessible, dangerous to me.
At the same time, all my bodily ailments got worse. I was in a lot of pain. I made some doctors appointments at the end of the year and start of the new year, notably my gynecologist, who then referred me to a gastroenterologist. That started a whole new journey, which you can read about in 2024.