you can be proud of yourself
I was reading this post by trueblue this morning, and it made me reflect on all the very similar changes I made to my social media and phone use since 2018. Reading it also made me realize how much self-reflection and awareness it takes to even notice something is off, and what options you have to change, and that you can even change. It also warrants specific views on things to even be bothered by social media or using it a lot, to even see it as a problem. I think I tend to forget that when I look back on things and it changes what I expect others to immediately see, feel or know.
On this side of the web, it's easy to generalize about the use of social media and how people feel about it (I tend to do that, too) and what's second nature to me feels like it should be obvious to others and experienced the same. But the post, and an interaction with a friend that loves all her many phone app notifications and would never turn them off, really made me break it down in my head one by one.
There was usually always some negative friction, experience, or downright breaking point that made us search for online alternatives or be online less.
If it was all the ads, you'd have to first even be bothered about ads. I am, but I also know people personally who are absolutely delighted by them. It sounds unbelievable to me, but that is only because I'm not that interested in buying things and I want to use the internet to read and engage with people. But that's not the goal of some others. Others are here to shop, so seeing personalized ads is absolutely a draw, an advantage of the internet. No more going through prospects and magazines looking for things you like - they're now right there, in your face, where ever, tailored to you so it's stuff you like, and you can basically shop while also consuming other content. It's a 2 for 1! This aspect that helped many of us let go of things is actually something that others cherish and value. They don't immediately care about if they were manipulated into that purchase, or environmental concerns, wages, sourcing, if their money is spent wisely etc. like you might - it looks cute, so it gets bought, and it makes them feel good. I think we can all relate to that, at least.
Being critical of ads often leads over to privacy concerns. It usually starts with someone being annoyed and creeped out by personalized ads, then slowly sliding into the plethora of information of how social media sites track you, and that might make you uncomfortable. There are a lot of people who deleted their socials for this reason, and it was also one of mine; but you need to even care about privacy in the first place and have some technological curiosity. Many other people who stay (and may even, as said above, love or are unbothered by the ads) don't care why that ad is so accurate. It's just there, like on TV or the newspaper. Many, many people actually don't care about privacy. I'm biased because I wanna be a data protection officer, but most people's response to privacy is either "Well, I have nothing to hide, who cares about my data." or a defeated "We are all being mass surveilled anyway, so what gives." So what these companies do with their data, even if it leads to discriminatory profiling, breaches, doxxes, hacked accounts and data loss, is absolutely no concern to them. That means it's no reason for them to delete the services either.
Related to this are account deletions based on ToS and other policies changes. These are probably low on the list, but nonetheless there. Some people definitely reached a breaking point with what was added or removed in these over the years, most recently obviously Meta and their moderation changes. But, this needs people to even care to read about these changes, and as most people don't even read the ToS, it's not a strong selling point for them to stop using social media. You might be a careful person who always wants to know what exactly you're "signing" or what rights the company has against you, but sadly many others simply don't care and I can't blame them for that at all, because engaging with it has been made as hard as possible for the average layperson.
This also touches politics. Either seeing politics on the feed, or caring about the political culture of the site, or the politics of the owner made many people quit or severely reduce their social media use. I think this is one of the biggest bubble things, because online, you get the feeling that most people are political, but in reality, it's likely most aren't, or not as strongly. They'll vote (if even) and that's that. They don't care about who on social media belongs to what party and what Meta or X is funneling money into. Many, many people are extremely apolitical and disinterested and also simply not educated enough to parse that information.
When you say "Elon Musk, owner of X, has started a SuperPAC to support Trump, and he's been meddling with the AfD in Germany, and he's saying (quotes problematic tweet)" you might as well speak Elvish with some names mixed in. It's sad and unbelievable to us who care about this stuff, but others you to talk to like that might not even understand. They don't understand what the Republicans or Trump exactly stand for (especially when outside of the US, as many social media users are), who that other party is, or how some social media site owner has anything to do with politics. They don't connect that if a super rich man is funneling money into some political thing, that this has consequences and that rising attacks on specific groups are connected. They don't see the connection between a change of site ownership (if they even notice) and a culture change on the site. Where you see "Oh, me using it is giving data and therefore money and power to these powerful people who make our lives worse and that use the money to campaign against me and loved ones, I should stop.", others see absolutely no chain like that. Where you see "Damn, since Elon took over, this site went to shit." they might not notice a change or don't realize the timing lines up.
We bloggers are biased, because we are always reflecting back on things, thinking more deeply about some random topic, questioning our feelings; but it's simply not a reality for a surprising amount of people. Many don't reflect like that, at least not in that specific area of their life. They don't question their feelings, and things just happen to them and they don't understand why. They may not know about blue light, or remember the fact that this one post made them terribly angry an hour before bed, so when they go to bed and can't sleep or they can't read a book anymore, they don't connect the dots. To them, it's completely unrelated. It's something to throw melatonin at and shrug, and avoid books from now on. It's something to joke about maybe, even.
Where you go and think "Wow, I see so much hateful and upsetting content even if I chose not to engage, swiped past, or tapped saying I don't wanna see it anymore... It affects my mental health, I feel more sad and angry, I have a more negative view of people and less trust." Others might not notice that change in them at all, or connect what's likely responsible. I wish they would, but most other people do not go "Wait, I am feeling really bad and stressed out lately. What was bad and stressed out lately in my life? What have I read or listened to?" they just accept that as a random plight with no source or reason. Maybe as a sign of getting older, more mature, more cynical even, a natural thing. Maybe where you see something sad and maybe even despicable, others see entertainment. They love drama, fights, arguments, insults, and it's absolutely no problem for them to have that on the feed constantly; it might be what they're here for in the first place, maybe as a participant too.
I know this reads like I'm trying to say the other people are stupid, but they're not; I just think we just underestimate everything we even have to notice, think about, get bothered by and connect to even blame social media for something. That doesn't even touch on taking action yet. You have to even believe you can change, know about options, and then have the discipline and freedom to follow them and make it happen.
So I just wanna say to you reader, at whatever point you are with your relationship to the internet, to social media, your smartphone: The fact that you're even questioning and thinking about taking some measures is not a given, and you're doing an absolutely great job already. It shows me that you are compassionate, curious, self-reflective and willing to do hard things to take care of yourself and stand up for what you believe in. You can be proud of yourself.
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Published 16 Feb, 2025