getting up again
I’ve been feeling pretty bad recently - the whole nine yards of headaches and not finding joy in anything, waking up with extreme anxiety, calling in sick, not wanting to eat and the kitchen looking like a mess. After a few days, I had enough, so I wondered what I could do. Waiting it out, sleeping it off and distracting myself with media didn’t work as it usually does, this is more persistent.
So I thought of a few things to make me feel better today.
Getting up early and not going back to bed: I feel better when I know I have a lot of time in the day available to me and when I feel like sleep didn’t rob half or more of it. I also vowed to stay out of bed to not be tempted to sleep more because it clearly didn’t work this time. I also make an effort to get properly dressed and ready instead of staying in sweatpants all day.
Catching up on my missed exercise: I wasn’t super active the past few days and exercise does lift my spirits a bit. I have the necessary equipment at home. That means
- 20 mins of treadmill (one missed session)
- 10 mins of Pilates (one missed session)
- 20 mins of Cycling (today’s session)
- 40 mins of Yoga (catching up on a missed 30min and today’s 10min session)
Catching it all up at once feels impossible when lacking energy and thinking everything is hopeless anyway, but that brings me to the next point...
Turning it into a game: I like to imagine myself as a video game character who fits the current task I struggle with to make it work or ask myself what they’d do. If I’m nervous before a meeting or interview, I think of being Commander Shepard. If I don’t wanna do silly little chores, I take emotion out of the question and imagine I’m just a little Sim and the player queued the action and there’s nothing I can do about it now because Free Will was shut off in the Settings. This one is so silly but it may help you? Anyway, my player wants me to become fit as hell, so this exercise regimen it is today.
Cold shower: It’s actually funny how much it is credited for all kinds of things. I do take them occasionally and feel more.. motivated, hardened, energized to fight. Maybe because it was so awful and I survived it, so whatever comes next doesn’t make me as uncomfortable. When you get something awful out of the way, it influences how you view other awful things that follow.
Eating enough: Taking my supplements and making food even if I don’t want to eat.
Cleaning and tidying: This one is obvious; clean and tidy environment helps with mood, and ticking one other thing off the list is, too. So I clean the kitchen.
Going outside: It’s sunny and I need the fresh air and Vitamin D and I can get some treats for myself. It helps that I have an external reason: A friend who lives very far away loves the coffee beans of a coffee shop here that doesn’t have an online shop, so I buy it and send it to him.
Rebuilding trust: There’s a piece of furniture I wanted to put into my basement for a while now and I always procrastinated on it. Continuing to put off things you said you’d do harms the trust you have in yourself. It makes you feel bad that not even you yourself can hold up the deals you make with yourself. Who can you even rely on then? Don't let yourself down repeatedly. A lot on this list is about rebuilding that trust, especially the exercise and kitchen cleaning. Finally putting it away helps me rebuild trust and get a feeling of bouncing back in a really easy way.
Feeling competent and regaining passion: I think this one is important for me because it gives me a sense of control and purpose. I can do this through studying something I’m passionate about and good at; like my data protection law materials or researching about it.
Accountability: A good way to do this is writing a blog post about it in your notes first and then having to do all these things so you can write an accurate conclusion for it to publish ;D
I’ve been up since 8am, It’s now 9:15am as I finish writing. It’s 17:52 as I come back to it. I did everything, I even had a great set of wins in MtG Arena. I also took care of some laundry, took out the garbage and vacuumed. I got myself my favorite caramel oat milk as a treat and took some notes while reading the AI Act.
Now I feel better. I hope I can keep it up; I have an important meeting at work tomorrow.
Some pictures of the day:
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Published 04 Feb, 2025