it may not just be the damn phone
Iâm sitting in a car and I am bored. Let me tell you about whatâs currently moving me.
Iâve been thinking about how motivated many people are to cut out entertainment in their life that they donât consider productive enough. Only wanting entertainment thatâs impressive, hobbies with transferable skills that are good for your CV or get you valuable knowledge. Or they want to cut back on the time spent on consuming games, feeds and video, so that itâs only a convenient few (whatever time they deem appropriate), while the rest is supposed to be pure productivity.
I have felt the exact same in the past, but since then I changed a little.
Itâs true that ubiquitous entertainment sometimes stops us from engaging in hobbies, focusing on work or making the effort to meet new people - itâs simply easier and always accessible and needs no energy. Why meet up in a cafĂ© with someone if you can do the dishes and throw on a podcast, why paint when you can play a game? Why go to the gym if you can hang out on the sofa consuming fitness content?
But something I hadnât thought of back then is that online entertainment didnât just creep into my life expanding its hold more and more, taking up increasing amounts of time while actively pushing everything else out of my life. That might be the case for other people or select few things, but the truth for me is: It got that much space because there was free space to occupy. It couldnât have taken hold without it.
Maybe itâs empty hours at work where you need to look busy but canât focus anymore or no work is left to be done. Or becoming sick of a hobby and needing a break where you donât do it at all so you donât burn out on it. Or wanting to listen someone talk while you do your own hobby on the side.
Itâs fine to need something to unwind and not constantly produce and solve problems. You physically and mentally need downtime. You need to laugh, you need whimsy and silliness and fun and little imaginary scenarios. And most of all, even if youâd reduce your entertainment consumption, your friends (or family) still have less time for you than you wish, or you may not have close friends, or youâre in a long-distance relationship.
What I found out for myself is that simply cutting back on scrolling, gaming, watching videos, etc. doesnât change life as much as I had hoped for years ago. I thought it was holding me back and things would shift in some areas of my life without online stuff taking up so much of my time, as if the issue was me prioritizing online time over everything else. But that wasnât it for me.
Cutting back or ceasing consumption of some things did some good! It may have increased my ability to focus, but only so much; thereâs simply a ceiling there that we all share. A cap on how productive you can realistically be. Itâs difficult not to fall into the mindset of harder/longer = better, especially around studying, working and learning new skills. Realistically, opening up your day to be able to do something 8 hours per day wonât make you actually study or work on something that much. Thatâs simply how it is, and thatâs not online habits holding you back.
Itâs also difficult not to fall into a mindset of âit was the damn phone that isolated meâ when actually, maybe, everyone in your life was busy, far away, or better friends with other people so you picked YouTube videos to make up for that and feel less alone. Of course that sucks! Shouldnât be that way. But not consuming that creator anymore wonât change that your friends are living far away or working >40h a week or spending their freetime with partner (and maybe even child) or preferring to consume content over hanging out as theyâre exhausted. What if you didnât stop going outside because of your little online world, but because your immediate surroundings really suck, with no way to enjoy being outside your home safely and in an affordable way?
When you put the phone down, no one is suddenly throwing themselves into your life and the relationships arenât magically there or easier to attain and maintain; no guarantee that theyâll reciprocate and increase your time spent together. You wonât magically have the focus and energy for everything youâve put off all this time by scrolling and watching instead. Itâs obvious when written down, but easy to forget as you build up this ideal new self in your mind.
Just let me float the thesis that maybe, you arenât lonely and unhappy just because of your online habits - but also because other aspects of modern living made you lonely and bored and the phone is how you cope, and using it less, while somewhat beneficial, isnât radically transforming your life the way you wish it did. It may just be exposing some holes in your life that are outside of your control to fix, as you canât control other people or will yourself into superhuman productivity.
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