hi, this is av

ava's blog

disconnected

I currently find myself really disinterested in consuming online content and engaging with online communities, but it doesn't feel bad at all. It was luckily not even spurred by anything negative I encountered, it just happened; it feels more like a phase I just need right now, or potentially permanently growing out of certain internet habits.

I have no Facebook, Instagram, Threads, X, Reddit, Tumblr, Youtube, Mastodon, Bluesky or TikTok accounts, so I usually see funny memes or videos through friends sending them to me. I am on a tiny number of small, friends-only Discord servers which move slow and don't generate any fear of missing out and don't keep me distracted. But even then, I noticed recently I don't care for properly looking at the latest Tumblr post screenshot or meme and just move past it. When I check HackerNews or Tildes, I spend about 5-10 minutes at most on it. So many times when I open those websites, I end up closing them again almost immediately, without clicking anything. The few YouTube channels I watch tend to upload about once a month and I check that manually every now and then.

There were times when I was really excited for new communities popping up or discovering new niches of the internet, lurking on them or trying them out, especially around the small web. But right now, I feel really comfortable with being offline a lot, proceeding with my own little projects at my own pace, working on myself and having a good time with people in real life. I don't feel pressured to keep my online identity up - my website is being reworked since October now, but I stopped feeling like I had to do it as fast as possible - or to have something flashy and new to present, like a finished project or progress in my learning. It is all happening without the pressure to perform or put something online.

Earlier, I came across some other online communities and wondered if it was something worth engaging in, something to sign up for and check and get to know, like I used to do; but I embrace the digital reduction, and partial digital solitude. I have already announced plans to step down from some community I spent a lot of time on to keep focusing on other things in January. I will instead be more creative with my art again, continue embroidery projects, study for my degree, read some books, meet new people, restart The Odin Project, and learn more Rust. I love the view of my laptop as this personal project machine that also has messages of my friends and some games, and nothing else.

I see others going through a similar thing, like a disillusionment with how you usually use the internet, which is amazing. I hope you all find the niche communities you crave and curate the RSS feed of your dreams. Mine is best left empty right now.

#internet #social media